It’s In The Blood I am great grandfather, grandfather and father in one line of descendants. You have heard the song “I’m My Own Grandpa?” My theme song ought to be something about, “I’m my own worst enemy.” I’m an old man now and look back on the genetic shit storm I’ve created and wonder why my daughters, grand daughters and great grand daughters let me live without at least castrating me. The last time I got charged with a sex crime, statutory rape I was seventy-two years old. That was three years ago and I shall never be able to use that defense again. “You do not challenge the fact your sperm was found in that young girl, do you?” the prosecutor asked. “No sir, from what I have been told it was my sperm in that woman.” I wanted to get that clown concentrating on splitting age hairs. Pussy hairs when they are still attached are much more fun, but legal hairs were what I had to concentrate on if I wanted to keep out of prison where I was too old to be mated up with a black dude with a sixteen inch peter and named Bubba. Most romantically inclined Bubbas don’t want wrinkled old ass, white or any other color. “Please tell us if you admit under oath that the sperm found in that girl___” “Woman,” I interrupted. That really pissed him off. “That young girl!” he screamed back at me. “I have a daughter her age.” “How many times have you been to bed with her?” I whispered just loud enough for him to hear. “You son of a bitch!” he screamed at me. “Your honor___.” He turned to the judge. “Contempt of court, three hundred dollar fine and thirty days to calm you down,” the judge said. “Thank you, your honor, he deserves much more.” Then the judge dropped the bombshell. “I was referring to you and your unconscionable attack on the defendant.” He looked toward the back of the courtroom, “Bailiff take him into custody.” My cheek was swelling where he hit me. “Judge, he was mad because I can prove he slept with his own daughter on a recent camping trip.” “You have proof?” “Yes sir, his daughter is out in the hallway probably doing a victory dance right now. You see, your honor, he drugged a soft drink and gave it to his daughter. She did not drink it but brought it to school with her and gave it to my great granddaughter. “They came over to my house after school and my great granddaughter gave it to me and I shared it with the prosecutor’s daughter and it diminished my capacity and her capacity to the point we got it on. I don’t remember what happened but my great granddaughter claimed the two of us ought to be in the Guinness book of records. “You and your great granddaughter?” the judge asked. “Oh no sir, the prosecutors daughter and me. We were both drugged out of our gourds by that drink her daddy prepared for her to drink that she shared with me.” “Where can we locate your great grand daughter to verify this wild tale at least a little?” “I grinned my best Aw Shucks grin at him and said, My great granddaughter is sitting over there in the front row on the spectators’ seat getting hit on by that assistant prosecutor talking to her.” “I don’t see anyone but…She is your great granddaughter?” He asked as he finally looked at Katy, my horny, dressed slutty great granddaughter wearing her school clothes. She had on a tee shirt, and jeans so thin and tight she might as well be naked. She was the best of her Irish, African and Egyptian ancestry. “Yes sir, we are a very integrated family.” “I yelled, “Hey Katy, bring Sonya in here.” She caressed the cheek of the assistant prosecutor and I think he cum. She could make a San Francisco mime have an erection. She opened the big door at the back of the courtroom and a foxy little sweet thing wearing a mini skirt and no panties came in. “That’s Sonya, my fellow victim in this mess, Judge.” He gave me a fish eye and I added, “Remember it was her dad that spiked that drink.” The judge asked Sonya to go back into his chambers so he could talk in private with that little minx. We waited thirty minutes before they both returned to the courtroom. All charges were dismissed against me. The judge and the DA got into a media fight and he backed his daughter to run for DA in the following election and won. I sued and won. Now we come to the truth of the matter. Sonya’s daddy came home drunk and popped one in her pooper dry. She was mad as hell the next morning. He had eaten her a few times before and she did not get all that worked up because after every munch session he bought her an expensive “gift of atonement” to express his sorrow for doing such a horrendous deed. Remember they are Southern Baptists. They repent at the drop of a heavy load. The next day he did try to drug her and she barely missed getting a heavy dose of some date rape drug. When she came over to my house after school that evening it was for sex. She and Katy and I had been having sex for over two years at that time. Katy handed me the drink warm and I poured it over ice cubes. A partially dissolved gel capsule appeared in my glass. I asked a couple of questions about where the drink came from and learned the truth. Our usual threesome was Katy sitting on my face, Sonya sitting on my cock and me on my back trying to work up to a heart attack. Katy got dressed while Sonya and I continued fucking. I finally got off and Katy stood up, her miniskirt barely covered her pussy. Suddenly the door was kicked down and I was slammed in the head by a boot. When I came to I was handcuffed to a hospital bed and the nightmare began. The assistant DA was out for my blood, not because I broke the law but because his sixteen year old daughter preferred to fuck a seventy-three year old man to thirty-six year old him. Hey, that’s the way things go sometimes. My granddaughter, Katy’s mom, was the only one I could call. “Your cum was in her?” “Yes, she drugged me.” “And if I had Katy’s pussy tested, what would I find?” she asked. “Do they have a spit test?” I asked. She snorted. “What is this about she drugged you?” I told her about the drink. She took it from there and rushed over to my house in time to get the drink bottle. Like they say, everything after that is history. The assistant DA, the son of a bitch that prosecuted me, or at least tried, went to jail and found true love with a Black dude named Basil who had a ten incher. Sonya and Katy came over to my house after I was released and celebrated my freedom the way we celebrated everything, by fucking. That other assistant to the assistant DA was not a lawyer but a paralegal. He came over for me to sign some papers and ended up doing a threesome on my living room floor. He knocked Sonya up higher than a kite so they got married. They moved in with Sonya’s mother and carried on while Sonya’s mother made up for lost time. I got Katy pregnant. So here is the genealogy of the family tree with just one branch: In 1958 I got Marge and her daughter pregnant. I lived with them off and on and got their daughters pregnant. Then I got Marge’s daughter’s daughter pregnant and so it went all the way to Katy. I’m an old man and hope Katy has a boy. A 93-year-old man with a new baby is too much for me to even contemplate. What’s that? Quit Fucking? NO WAY!